Don't Look to People for Your Peace

Finally got around to seeing it. Really well-done. Kudos to Sean Penn there. I think he captured a lot of the essence of what Christopher McCandless was seeking. It was a movie about something that really matters in life.

I admire Christopher. I don't know that he was misguided or that his life was tragic. I think he found what really mattered, in the end, and maybe that was what his life was meant to be. He understood, and his journal became a testament to something real, beyond the zombie-like existence of our commercially driven modern lives.

The movie was timed well in light of a revelation I was given about a week ago. I think maybe, at the end, Christopher also probably realized this.

I had been frustrated because I had never been able to find anyone who seemed to understand or to answer my questions. I was continually disappointed by people's failure to live up to my standards, to meet my "wavelength," and so I always threw them away like so much kleenex when I inevitably discovered their imperfections. This one was a hypocrite; this one abandoned her own kids; that one was really stupid; that one was superficial and materialistic; on and on.

Then it was revealed to me one morning as clear as day: "Take from God; Give to People."

That was it. That was my answer. I did not need people. People could offer me absolutely nothing I wanted. Not one person on this earth would ever be good enough for me, including myself.

It was not fair to ask immortal questions of mere mortals. They would only break and fail and fall away, and I would end up a bitter black misanthrope, spouting venom from my dissatisfied corner.

What I needed, only God could provide. My questions, my tears, my rage, my emotional fury - only God could take it. So basically he said, give me all your crap, and open your heart to what I give you, which is the pure and inconceivable joy of my love for all eternity. Then take THAT, and forward it to people. Don't ever look to get anything from human beings. Look only to give. If you do anything else, you will be hateful and hated, vicious and brutal, unable to move forward or accomplish anything of true value.

Chris McCandless' parents weren't evil monsters, and Chris was not a spoiled rich white kid rebelling against society. They were all just flawed human beings trying to make sense of life. Christopher did not want to walk blindly, and he didn't. He took a brave and solitary path into the heart of human existence and I believe he emerged victorious.

Of all the choices we make in our lives, I think the most important one we have to make every single day we breathe, is to extend love. That is the best thing we can do. We don't have to go to Alaska or live in a bus. Some brave souls do this so those of us in the trenches of daily life can realize how different, how much brighter, an ordinary day can be just by being kind to a grocery store associate, or really smiling at someone you pass in the office hallway, or just being quiet and listening to someone you know when they speak, without impatiently waiting to tell your own story.

Take from God; give to people. Just give.