Zeitgeist Response

Well alrighty! That was an interesting little movie, the only thing new I really learned was the whole thing about the Christ story having been told over and over again thousands of years before Christ was ever born.

How cool is that! One thing I'm learning in BSF is that the Old Testament is prophetically pointing to Jesus and how the lives of many people reflect His life over and over both before and after He came and left earth.

So the fact that even all these ancient pagan cultures knew of and told this story over and over, appropriating it into their religions and creating their own ideas of a god through it, only proves to me the Sovereignty and foreknowledge of God. The Coming was whispered and told throughout the centuries.

And they got the whole astrology thing backwards; the Christ story is not lifted from astrology. Doesn't it make sense that the Creator of the Universe would reflect and repeat and weave His complex tapestry into the very fabric of our existence? That's physics; "nature," math; you see the patterns constantly repeated. Again, I do not see why Zeitgeist chose to split God from the Nature He created. Duh.

The thing about that Christian's comment on the dinosaurs, if it was true then that man was misinformed. The Bible talks a lot about Leviathans and creatures that sound like dinosaurs. As well as sons of God versus sons of man - there's all kinds of stuff going on. Evolutionists may counter man's existence at the time of the dinosaurs or whatever but when you consider the spherical nature of time and infinite possibilities of dimension, well...God said it, with God nothing is impossible.

On the other topics, I wish someone would do a study of Revelation in conjunction with things like that universal microchip because I think it would be fascinating. I do think we may be headed for a one world government, and I think Revelation might give us some clues into how horrible that is going to be. It is going to make Hitler look like a mewling kitten.

I am inclined to believe that the Twin Towers were not destroyed by a single airplane or subsequent fires. I remember watching the Towers fall on 9/11/01 and although I am ignorant of construction demolition I remember clearly thinking to myself, "wow that is really really weird how they are collapsing like a deck of cards."

Furthermore I was in Manhattan the first time the Twin Towers were attacked - by bomb - in the basement. I think someone drove a van into the basement? That time there was no dispute about it being a bomb. My friend and I were trying to get out of the city and we were trapped at Port Authority for hours. The crush of people was amazing; not like rush hour traffic.

I was reading my journal a few years ago and I came across an odd entry. My brother had called me one night out of the blue, begging me not go to NYC the next day. He said he'd had a dream; dying gazelles in Central Park, people trapped in small shower stalls. He was fiercely adamant about it but I didn't listen. I went into the city, had a great day and wrote, "nothing scary in the city, just some guy with cute homeless puppies I bought food for. So much for [my brother's] portents of doom."

Then I saw the entry date. 9/11/00. He was off by one year.

And that is just one of many many many supernatural things in my life that have led me to believe that God does exist, He does plan stuff and the bible is a priceless key to knowledge that we had better use if we want any wisdom and truth.

God, Heaven, the Afterlife - it's been boiled down to a brainless fable by both Christians and Atheists.

But I have discovered that when you start walking down the path of truth with a TRULY open mind, it is indeed the proverbial rabbit hole...but just make sure you go ask Jesus, not Alice or Morpheus.

Big Mouthed Christians

Jesus began His public ministry only after years of quiet, "normal" life followed by severe trial and testing under combat circumstances.

He had to pass the tests and endure before serving before God.

Makes sense. Can't have untested newbies running around spouting off about Christ, claiming to represent Him.

I think this is why the world has such a terrible view of Christianity. Big-mouth "Christians" babbling and claiming the Name without having endured or learned any real Truth with/through God.

It takes YEARS of soul-wrenching, agonizing truth-seeking and even then you are so scared to all yourself a Christian because the least word you speak or action you take as such will be analyzed, tested, and will grow like yeast in others' eyes - for good or bad.

My Big Problem with Churches

These sweet darlings can be a stumbling block for a pastor.


Of course, it comes down to money. Well, not money exactly. More the pastors who need your money for their daily sustenance.

I guess I have a Catholic view of this because I think if you want to live off other people's donations, you should not live an ordinary life. You should be a single celibate human being who has completely dedicated himself to the pursuit of God's wisdom and the ability to relay it to others via the Holy Spirit.

You should live in one room in stark stripped-to-nothing-but-essentials surroundings.

You should NOT have a nicer house, car and income than the people donating. You should be completely immersed in the goal of Christ and the coming Kingdom as your entire reality.

I think I've just described most of the new Testament Apostles.

In Southern California, Pastors are often extremely wealthy. They make six figure incomes, have beautiful wives and children and use religious donations to go on nice vacations, buy things for their kids, send them off to college...and if they don't, they spend half their time angsting and stressing over where the next dollar will come from to pay the bills.

I'm sorry but I can't help seeing the GLARING CONFLICT OF INTEREST that is inherent here!

When a man's got his basic survival needs tied up in the money you donate - it's a problem. It's a problem if he's single. If he's married with kids, it becomes downright dangerous.

Christian Martyrs?

A relative sent me a link to VOM (Voices of Martyrs) and it just threw me for a loop. Hoooh.

Where do I begin on this one.

Are Christians really persecuted, tortured and killed in these weirdo countries (Vietnam, China, N Korea, etc)? Is this a hoax?

If it's not a hoax, why are these countries so mad at Christians? Are they also mad at other religions? Are they actually mad at Christians, or the legions of murderous fanatics who did so much harm in that name [they actually being Satanic and thus succeeding beautifully in making the word Christian a curse] ?

I have to think either Christians are doing a piss-poor job of representing Christ truthfully or Satan is winning.

As I see Christianity, if people knew the truth they'd be knocking YOUR door down to get at more of it. But I guess first people have to realize it exists.

I don't have any experience with these radical missionaries or the Christians across the world who are dying and being tortured. I don't know if they are hurting anyone or if they are as gentle as lambs.

I think my biggest question is, why don't these governments allow Christianity - what, to Islam, Buddha, Mohamed and whatever else relgiions are legal, is so bad about Christianity? What are they afraid will happen? Are CHRISTIANS killing people out there? (If so, they aren't Christians - while the Old Testament was full of x-rated gore, the New Testament is the new covenant of peace - no killing, let yourself be hurt before hurting others).

Do these foreign countries look at America and think that's what a Christian nation is - blind voracious consumer zombies out to rape the rest of the world so they can buy and throw away more products in a week than entire countries do in a year, while their children starve for lack of daily food and water?

I don't think anyone really knows or follows Christ's true message. No one, not one.

Supernatural

Last week, I dreamt my dad was dressed in white cotton trousers and a white cotton shirt. He was going off to some job he had and was happy about doing. My mom packed him a brown-bag lunch. I thought in my dream, "he's going to be all right; he's going to make it."

Last night I was woken up by a voice to the left of my bed that said, "Daddy." It was a sort of tinny, robotic voice, and very clear audio. Not a dream. I woke up and wondered, but I was not afraid. Just curious.

There were 2 incidents where voices scared me s***less. Back on the East Coast there was a message on my cell phone. I heard whispering, whimpering, and then: "[unintelligible]...near one." They almost, but not quite, sounded like my niece and sister, or a dog. But not quite. My heart chilled over when I heard it. A friend of mine listened and nearly threw my phone back to me, crying out, "that's not right - delete it!"

I was awakened one night several years ago by a voice clearly calling my name. It had absolutely no organic quality at all. It was a dead thing speaking in human decibels. It scared me so badly I turned on my light and sat up all night.

Five years ago, a few days after my first dog died, I woke up to the familiar thud of his heavy head on the edge of my bed. He always used to do that while he contemplated the energy it would take to climb up the high bed. Then he would put a paw up and clamber in with me - which is exactly what started to happen. I whispered, "Jesus, no" and it disappeared instantly.

And of course, the reason for this Blog, those whispers of Psalm 47:7.

WALMART and KILLING PUPPIES

There are some stories that are just so horrifying that you KNOW there has GOT to be a back story that explains things.

Then again.

1) No matter what the back story is, how does one explain a fatal stampede in a quest for discount shopping?

Stomping someone to death over, say, Rolling Stones tickets back in the day - unnerving, but you know, people can get pretty hysterical when they worship idols* (at least it's not as bad as throwing your live firstborn into a fire and eating the charred remains ... right)?

But this poor guy was working for an unlivable wage at a Behemoth Superstore that seems to be a collective commune for cheap product junkie zombies. And we can assume he wasn't too bad a sort, since in that neighborhood he probably would have been much better off selling drugs or something. Now his wife or kids (if he had any) have to spend the rest of their lives explaining that their husband/dad was killed by rabid Walmart shoppers trying to get a super deal on a big screen TV or some other crap made in China for twelve cents by some communist slave. That is heartbreaking.

2) No matter what the back story is, how does one explain beating a six-month-old shepherd puppy so brutally that she has to be euthanized?

I won't go into the story but you can google Asst Fire Chief Glynn Johnson, Karly and read the details. There was a heavy rock involved, and an attempt to split the dog's jaws in two - let's just leave it at that.

The guy claimed this dog bit him. I saw pictures of the dog. It was a baby. The guy is about 250 lbs. He admitted to the beating. Allegedly he is known for having beaten his own child and wife as well so I guess we can't be too surprised. The most disturbing thing about this story to me is that I know this sort of thing, and worse, happens to children and animals every day, in dark corners of the Earth.

If there is any point to my posting this, it is to show that we human beings are sinful and if I were God I would not have found some way to save our souls. We'd all be roasting slowly over a nice, eternal fire. That's one more thing to thank God for this Christmas - that I'm not He.

*Idols - will have to post on that, a personal struggle of late...

The True Meaning of Christmas - STOP SHOPPING FOR JUNK

He paints the deserts with His brush,
this Artist King we now can touch;
dipping rainbows into fire,
beyond His Glory nothing's higher.

From sweeping hills topped verdant green
to canyons carved with depths unseen,
His voice brings forth an eagle's flight,
His hands our nest on star filled nights.

O sing our praise to God our Light,
whom woods declare with awesome height
and sparkling seas before Him rest
or thunder all their mighty best
from but a whisper of His Breath.

This Great Sovereign Majesty
on Christmas Eve fell to our feet,
to draw our souls into His Grace
that we could look upon His Face
and with Him live eternally
in the woven Tapestry
completed by His sacrifice

for which that night He gave His life.

Video version of poem on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e8LokFKrbU (a little corny except for the fact that each photo was taken first-hand by me and inspired this praise poem - not pretty internet clips, I saw the beauty for myself)

GODSTOMP

That's what I call it when I try to do something that is not what You-Know-Who wants for me. This does not happen if you haven't elected to give up and hand yourself over like FBI's Most Wanted. But if you have, then certain things are going to be stomped.

You can persist beyond the stomping but you generally find that the results are screwed up from start to finish and eventually you stop fighting. Death of the little "i" (see Chihuahua post). Ultimate antithesis to how we are brought up to believe that our lives and our destinies are in our hands. In a way they are; you can choose to live under the Will or outside of it. But under it, you have to become a soldier to the King to whom you've sworn allegiance.

The Stomp has happened several times in my life, most recent being with some extracurricular activities I joined. They weren't "bad;" I wasn't running off to shoot heroin or rob widows & orphans.

But they were stomped through Forces of Nature, Technology and Employment. A trifecta of WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DO NOT GO THERE! So in spite of my desire to go there I am letting it rest for now. Don't know why but I trust that I have to let this go. It sucks for so many reasons I can't talk about on the Net.

That's one of the hardest things, that trust. You think you're doing the right things sometimes and you're suprised and dismayed when it's not your path.

Still learning on this one. Watching to see why it was stomped.

Physics & God

"with man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." - Mark 10:27

I wish I could get together with a bunch of physicists and mathematicians to study the Bible from a scientific, logical perspective. I need to research more into this. What's the Omega Code about?

Books like The Secret and prosperity preachers do have a sort of half-assed foot in the boat, I think. But there are real secrets to the universe in the bible. All that step by step, cubit by cubit, generation by generation numbing recounting is not for jollies. I bet even "love" comes down to some kind of kinetic force of creation.

God & Satan. Darkness & light. Chaos & entropy. If we go beyond the self-help mentality and really dig in with a seeking mind, that is where the true treasure lies. Why do churches not have an option for this level of study? Coming to God in destitute desperation is only the beginning; why do Christians always stop there?

Jesus is not a religious fable and He is more than an incidental factor in Christianity. He is the key because He also fits into this universal law somehow (see earlier post on why He is the Key to salvation).

And a deeper secret, which a lot of religions talk about (even the bible talks of a time beyond Heaven), is the one of a detached, almost unconscious existence. Is that ultimate peace? (God knows I have cried out for this very thing more than once.)

Ezekiel 1 God's Transportation

much better than this sporting vehicle, hehehe




"the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God." -Ezekiel 1:1

Some food for thought in Ezekiel. I bet intersecting wheels are of some significance in physics. I Googled it and came up with Screw Theory. Don't see the connection there but that's what I got. And you have to admit, intersecting wheels embedded with living eyes is the nexus of a tricked out rim, ese. God knows how to pimp a ride, hehehe.

DRAWING NEAR TO GOD IS LONELY WORK

Kurt Cobain said it quite nicely, "all alone is all we are, all alone is all we are..."

As a follower of a religion that boasts probably the most members in the world, I feel terribly isolated. I feel like there are no other Christians out there following in the same way as I. I've looked. Where are you guys? Not in church, as far as I can see!

BSF lecture last week spoke right to me when they talked about Moses climbing Mt Sinai alone to meet with God. They said sometimes the closer you get to Him the fewer people there are around you. I'm finding this to be true. I fear I may be meant to take this journey alone.

Well, Father, if it is Your destiny for me, who am I to rebel - and if it is Your will, I will be able to endure somehow. Up and down, to the brink and back, cyclical madness of my life.

Lonely at the top of the mountain near God but better this loneliness than joining the Walmart Stampede of modern society.

Arguments against God & the Bible

When I read intellectuals' anti-God arguments & logic I just think, why are they stopping so short at this concept of God?

Christians and Atheists alike just limit themselves to what they've heard from the media and representatives of either side without sitting down and digging in for themselves.

I personally don't discount any of the questions and debates arising from challenges to God. I'm no brainiac or evolutionary scientist but I do recognize some interesting parallels between science and the bible.

For example, String Theory. As much as a layman can understand it, there is some sort of really. small. particle. Rather, lots of these things, smaller than atoms, which constitute "reality," or matter. Physicists describe it as vibrations, even as a symphony of sorts, a Theory of Everything.

In the bible God keeps saying to praise Him, even my supernatural whispering was to praise Him, over & over. I thought at first, what an egotistical creep! Praise Him. Puh-leaase.

Then I read about String Theory. Oscillations. Like music. Sound. Praise...hmm...

Studies have been conducted by scientists, buddhist monks & priests in the bible regarding a "cursing" of water in which the molecule physically changed in reaction to sound, depending on the tone of the sound (see What the Bleep).

God spoke the Universe into being. Angels singing, hideous creatures continually chanting? Coincidence? Or a glimpse into Creation?

Couldn't the bible be a simultaneous metaphor/history for human beings? A sneak peak into things we really can't understand?

Jesus always spoke in parables. Why? Maybe if He tried to explain Quantum physics to the crowds they'd be a little confused?

Sometimes I think atheists & scientists are so busy trying to disprove God, that they miss some really cool things.

John 18:6

With just 3 words, He brought Roman soldiers to their knees.

Psalm on Greedy Christian

Prosperity preachers have no clue. They talk about getting houses and cars and spouses - ridiculous. These are the things that will burn away, these will not last in eternity. What God wants us to be greedy for is so much bigger, we can't even comprehend. We're like little kids holding on with all our might to some mud pie when God's standing over us with diamonds going, "hello...ahem...up here..."

This is my Greedy Prayer to God:

The Greatest, Most Beautiful, Purest Thing in existence, Father You are a million sparks of Light. You burst my heart. Set me free, Father, break the human boxes that surround me, make me fly and soar in your great skies, burst my soul, capture my heart, take me on the ride of Freedom that is Your Truth!

I want it all, Father! I want all of You, I want to disintegrate into the shimmer of Your Goodness. You shatter me. You scatter me. You toss me sparkling into the air and send me in a zillion directions, flying and catching Your Light. Just want to fly on Your breeze, O my God, my Great and Good and Kind and Powerful God.

The only Purity I know. My hope. My Father. My Salvation. Make me light. Make us all a million motes of praise like tiny jewels in the air.

Amen.

Christ and Big Manly Men

Several times in the NT it is mentioned that Jesus and His disciples are "reclining," and the disciples seem to be quite physically affectionate with Christ (John 13:23, 25). It is strange to think of men being so with one another. I suppose in those days & that culture it wasn't so unusual. Modern society would think it rather corny behavior yet I am certain it was like children with a father.

Jesus was a comforting figure who made large, grown men feel like little kids. It's a strange image. Yet I too have often imagined myself in the lap of Christ as a child with its parent. So many of us have messed up father-figures. We all need to allow ourselves to be held by God.

King David's Big Mistake

The story of Bathsheba and David might make for a compelling film. Characters:

-Powerful King & his tragic flaw (David)
-Noble Soldier (Uriah)
-Critical Man of Integrity (Jobab)
-Beautiful Woman forced into adultery (Bathsheba)
-Poignant plot (parable of the poor man and his one precious ewe lamb being stolen by someone with a herd)

Uriah was a man of strength and integrity and that underscored David's evil actions. David gave in to one stupid, wicked desire and it just rippled out to the destruction of his sons and strife in his household forever. As much as God loved David, He did not allow him to get away scot-free. David even lost the child borne from the adultery.

From the tale I can see how a willfully evil act makes everything go wrong: she got pregnant; her husband turned out to be too noble to fit into a coverup plan; the coverup turns into murder. David's inner circle loses respect for, and gains dirt on him, weakening his kingship.

What a mess. All because he gave in to the hots for a gorgeous woman.

And yet - and I have seen this happen in my own life - from evil, God can still make some lemonade. After the child produced from the adultery dies, when David finally sleeps with Bathsheba as his legal wife, the result is Solomon, probably the best human king of all time. And of course, from that line came You Know Who.

It's as if God is saying, "see, if you would just do things the right way without cheating, look how much I love you and will bless you. But if you disrespect me and my righteous laws, there will be consequences. Even so, I love you and I will not condemn you although I should. I choose instead to forgive you."

This story foreshadows God's treatment of each of us through Christ. If we are tempted to gasp and point a finger at David and condemn him here, then we must do the same for ourselves. What we need to do is look and this story and watch ourselves. Use it to stay out of trouble.

"his command leads to eternal life." -John 12:50

Beatitudes & Acknowledging Sin

Jesus says to be meek, mournful, merciful, poor in spirit, pure in heart, peacemakers ... and when we are, we will be persecuted here but rewarded in Heaven. (Matthew 5, Beatitudes)

There's a fine line here that people constantly abuse as an excuse to be pious and self-righteous. And miserable.

God never said to be a miserable wretch who feels morally superior to others. He stressed humility, being grounded and perceptive and aware. When you're being real and seeing with honest eyes, the world will be revealed as fallen. Messed up. That will make you sad. And you will also recognize that you yourself are full of imperfections - I hate to use the word sin but there it is. Anyone who doesn't acknowledge that is a liar.

And that is the beginning of the quest. Until you set aside your pride, you can't begin.

THE DREADFUL CHRISTIAN: RHETORIC OVER TRUTH

I hesitate to tell people I am Christian. The word is just rife with misconceptions, conflict, abuse and ironically, demonification of the truth.

First, let me start with what a Christian is NOT.

-A Christian is not a Stepford-wife-like shining shell of false happiness.

-A Christian is not a red-faced portly guy in a suit screaming, "kill all FORnicaters and all homo-SEXSHULS!"

-A Christian is not a homely spinster hugging a Bible and praying for all the evil people to be saved from Hell.

And now let me blow all the preceding out of the water by saying that a Christian could perfectly well be any of those people above.

The thing is, Christians are human beings. Imperfect, in process: they can be freaks, hot chicks, weird old losers, wanna-be-rock-stars...in short, any living human being can be a Christian. There's no one media image that defines a Christian.

The one thing that DOES define true Christianity is this belief: that Jesus Christ is the son of God, sent to live and die as a man, take on our damnation and then to rise as Divinity and take His place as one of the mysterious Holy Trinity that makes up God.

Jesus said the top Christian priority is to love God. The second is to love your neighbor. It's all about love. Letting go of your ego and your desire to be the center of attention. (That's actually an extremely difficult thing to do in a world that sells "It's All About Me" t-shirts.)

I am no expert on world religions but the way I see it, Christianity is a large sphere containing smaller spheres like Buddhism, Catholicism, and Judaism, which are derivations of Platonic Truth.

Beyond that, it gets very complicated. Each Christian has his/her own personal journey, doubts, questions, reconciliations and drama on the way to the end of his/her life here on Earth. I guess a Christian term for each person's story is called his/her Testimony, or Witness.

Below are a few Christian principles which are often not practiced nor popular in this world:

-Be kind. Don't run people over, metaphorically or literally. Don't be afraid to step back to let others shine.

-God is not a lottery ticket. If you think you're getting a personal genie who is going to solve your life problems, you are in for a world of disappointment. God is more concerned with developing you into a noble character than giving you the "fabulous life." If you have to experience poverty, loss, betrayal, despair to get there, then so be it.

-God IS about intangible things like honor, integrity, dignity, sacrifice, and love. My poem "You Kill My Ego" (in an earlier blog) addresses the frustration I feel being unable to attribute those characteristics to myself. NOT being the hero, but practicing those intangibles, is paradoxically what it really means to be a hero. Humility is paramount. Imagine saving someone's life and losing your leg in the process, then having the person you saved run off without so much as thank you. Taking that gracefully, without resentment or bitterness, is true Christianity.

People may ask (and I certainly have), "why would you want to be a Christian if it's all about sacrificing and no big houses or nice cars - where's the fun?"

I don't have a pat answer. I can only say that I believe in Heaven. I believe the After-life is not going to be a glowing, vague blob of shiny joy. I believe this life is sort of a fun-house reflection of Reality, where things are not quite as they were meant to be. I believe that Heaven is full of activity, pleasures and joy that we can't really comprehend in these decaying flesh sacks we call bodies (the Bible is much nicer and refers to our bodies as Jars of Clay). I have had certain dreams that I believe were actually experiences of other Universes, where my soul left my body behind and went on adventures. I believe we can fly, and that there are other modes of existence beyond our imagination.

And I believe there is one God who created all of it. If we possessed even an inkling of His knowledge in our present earthly forms, I believe we would explode into a trillion shining, golden sparks.

So that, in a nutshell, is how I define Christianity.

p.s. I believe God is Good. The inventor of puppies can't be evil

TO WHOM BE THE GLORY

Americans see guns as a righteous tool of vengeance; and an ubercool plaything for beautiful fantasy figures. The American film industry thrives on "shoot-first think-never" action dramas. In fact, our very nation was founded upon the bloody bones of gun-toting anti-establishment rebels.

We do not turn the other cheek; when insulted, we are taught to stand up for ourselves and fight back. If we don't, we're considered wimpy losers. The self-ambitious vengeance tales of our culture do not teach us how to battle with the dignity and grace of humility.

This poem deals with my personal struggle for glory, action and drama.


You Kill My Ego

I want to be Your loyal soldier, Father.
If You ask me to jump, I would leap.
If You ask me to die,
I would stretch out my neck for the knife.
If you ask me to kill, I would take up my sword in a flash.
If You ask me to fight, I would put up my fists and stand tall.
But You ask me nothing
Like this.
You want me instead
To open my heart to be broken,
Hold out my hand to be slapped,
To kneel and to let all be done;
To lay down my life without battle.
In this world, Father, You ask me to serve as You have;
To put down my weapons,
To heal and to hold and to love.
I want to be Your soldier, Father,
But You ask me for peace
In this world.

WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW?

Why do God/Jesus and Quantum Physics have to be separated? In my mind, God created Quantum Physics.

People's views of God are so narrow. My favorite part of the movie is where the old blonde chick says it's the ultimate in arrogance to create a God of our own understanding. Yet the paradox there is, what other kind of God are we going to create? And then further still, is our understanding limited? Are we trapped in mortality here? How "real" are the bodies we inhabit?

If what the movie says is true, why don't we all walk around looking like Jessica Biel or Jensen Ackles?

Does it come down to a question of faith? In which case, that biblical mustard seed is the real "Secret." Ask and ye shall receive. With the faith of a mustard seed, you could move a mountain.

Jesus called us "ye of little faith." We frustrated Him, all right. He was like, look, you dumbasses, you can raise the dead, cure cancer, throw a frigging mountain into the ocean if you REALLY BELIEVE you can. And in essence, that is what the movie says, too.

People love to villify Jesus because human beings of limited understanding created a Christ who is some kind of boring, quiet, suffering, NO-FUN harbinger of doom, when just the opposite is true.

That one Irish? guy talks with snide superiority about the irrelevance of good and evil, punishment and reward. I think he's getting lost in syntax and rhetoric. Maybe if we presented the concepts to him in politically correct terms like "yin and yang," or "chi," he'd have been less derisive.

Hell yeah, there are consequences to your actions! Punishment, reward - call them whatever you want - if you hurt someone's feelings, they might come back and key your car. If you give someone a gift, they might give you one back.

I think the reason God gave man the 10 commandments was to develop us into beings that would be able to face eternity with Him. Tell me what is wrong with the 10 commandments. Our entire judicial system of modern law is based on them. They exist to drive us toward love and community, and away from the madness of isolation and mutual destruction.

Isolation is solitude, sterility, darkness, lack of interaction, eventual madness. Love is communication, interaction, kinetic energy, creation.

What the bleep do I know but to me, Hell is a lack of love. (I felt that when my dog died - for three days I was in a universe where I spiraled into the chaos of utter grief and lost 17 lbs in 72 hours. No lie. Hey, a new fad diet - rip your heart out with grief and you'll lose weight!)

So anyway the Old Testament was there for a while, and people pretty much ignored it. They sacrificed their kids, prayed to things they made out of stone and wood, integrated ritual prostitution and generally did whatever they felt like doing.

Then in the New Testament God decided, this isn't working. Man can't control himself without some help. So He sent Christ to install the Holy Spirit software, an internal compass toward the right direction.

Don't ask me to explain the whole Christ sacrifice thing. I still don't even begin to understand that part. What the bleep do I know.

I did have a supernatural experience (I get these from time to time) when Angels kept whispering, "Evil is boring."

I didn't know what they meant. Then I thought about how you get desensitized to things. Watch enough heads being chopped off and your initial horror becomes numbed. Drink or snort or f*** or eat with abandon - and eventually you have to keep doing more and more and more and it's never enough.

There is a certain boring quality to such things. Their novelty wears off. Evil IS boring.

Discipline and growth, now that is not boring. It's not FUN, but I guess it defeats the alternative. Stimulation, new direction, learning...there are rewards there. I HATE going to the gym. I HATE working out. But afterward, I feel really good, like I accomplished something (of course, working out can be an addiction too). It's the discipline, the moderation, the battle against chaos and entropy that is the root of the universe.

There are great mysteries that I cannot understand. But to me, the Bible is actually a mind-blowing source of information for life on earth. The thing about the water and the Buddhists - it's in the bible, too. Can't remember where. But I read about priests cursing and curing water in there.

The Old Testament also writes about people living to be 700, 900 years old. And some other race of beings that mated with human beings. And great creatures, leviathans, sea monsters (maybe dinosaurs?) -

To me, the bible is a history of mankind as we now exist, and it's the most amazing source of knowledge I've seen. If people would just read it with an open mind, they'd learn quite a bit.

And of course, all the miracles. I believe they happened. I also have dreams where if I take a few running steps, then jump, I fly. In these dreams it's not a fantasy; it's a manipulation of forces that is physical and real.

I KNOW anything is possible. I just wish I could figure out how to harness that belief into this "reality." I wish I had faith, even of a mustard seed.

One mystery to me is the sack of flesh in which we live. I definitely feel like there is something inside here that is trapped. I think we're set free when we die, but there is also a REASON we are in here. I am still not sure what that reason is.

But I want to find out as much as I can, and get ready for the next step.

I do not want to live in quiet desperation. I want to fly.

JUST THE HEM

Father

If i could touch
the hem of Your garment
i think my heart
might beat again…
if i could touch
the hem of Your garment
i think my life
might be worth living.
But i crawl behind you now
and i'm reaching for Your robe
my arms aren't long enough,
my legs aren't strong enough
and i can't touch You,
i can't hear you
i can't feel you
Father, turn and see me
Father, turn and heal me
touch me, just the hem
would be enough.

JESUS WERE WE WORTH IT?

Jesus on Your walk, under the starry skies,
as You went from town to town,
the dust on Your feet, not sleeping much,
what gave You pause
for joy?
From above You drank
of Heavenly Light, but here on Earth
what made You smile
or warmed Your heart?
A Centurion's faith
amazed You,
but did You ever laugh
or feel an ounce of Earthly pleasure?
Father, we on Earth aggrieved Your heart
and our dumb silence
was a source of Your frustration.
I want to know what things on Earth,
if any,
were worth the walk You took
and price You paid.

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE ?

(April 13, 2008)

I saw a bunch of postings on YouTube from this "God is Imaginary" website. Some of the questions there were completely legitimate and bound to arise when anyone starts exploring the Bible or God/Christ.

I also used to feel somewhat dismayed by the fact that the majority of Christians seem to be .. . how do I say this politely ... not "intellectuals?" Being from the East Coast I am all too familiar with the snide critical thinking involved that leads to contempt for Christianity.

I was, if not an atheist, at least VERY ANGRY at God for many, many years. I asked all those questions: God if You're so great, why didn't you keep Adam from biting that apple? God if You're so loving why do you let poor little babies die? God if You're so awesome why are there serial killers and dictators and why can't You just fix this world and why can't You just fix me and make me perfect while You're at it? God if You are Good why do You allow this world to be so messed up ... etc, etc, etc.

Well, I fought. I raged against the machine. I felt like a rat in a cage. I communed with metalheads and sympathized with Satan. I felt the tragedy of Kurt Cobaine. I went deep into the rectum of gender-bending Judith Butler NYU anti-phallocratic pro-choice lesbian feminist theory. I got A's.

And I came out the other end a Christian.

How?

It's called aporia. I believe that is a term used to describe a state of intellectual paralysis, when you realize that you. know. NOTHING.

Assuming you believe there is a God. By definition you can't possibly understand Him. So when you try to figure out why things happen, you might as well be scratching at the Hoover Dam with a wooden toothpick thinking you can poke a hole through it. If you believe in God as Creator Omniscient, then you, little wooden toothpick, are going to be splintered into pieces. That's what the book of Job is about, too.

And sometimes it takes a whopper of a tragedy to really wake you up to that. Your child dying. Cancer. Something that cuts the bottom of your heart out and leaves you with nothing to grab. That's when you look for God and see Him, or turn your face away. That's your choice. He is there or He isn't, for you. He IS YOUR choice. That much is true. You can perfectly well decide that He doesn't exist. Does that mean it's true?

As for why bad things happen to good people. You're assuming people are good. Personally, if I were God, I would have sent the puling pathetic horrid lot of us to Hell in a Gucci handbag and said good riddance. That is a struggle I have as a Christian - I don't love people. I think people are evil. They are greedy, selfish, faithless, cruel, vain, and completely lacking in any redeeming qualities whatsoever. I pray that God will change my heart on this attitude and I have faith that He will.

But for all the smart thinking, well educated wealthy people who don't believe in God, that's fine and dandy. Guess they're not the ones who need Him. Like I said, Christianity is for stupid, ugly losers. THANK GOD.

Exodus 19:4 "On Eagle's Wings"

In BSF we were asked, what do you think Exodus 19:4 means? And my answer resulted in an inspired little poem:

I pushed you out of the nest

Knowing I could catch you

and teach you how to fly

HOW DOES CHRIST SAVE US?

Why and how does Christ's sacrifice save us?

I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

As much as I understand it, basically He takes our place for everything we do wrong. When we make the wrong choice - evil versus good - somewhere, the Universal Laws kick in and we have to bear the consequences of our choices. It's immutable and beyond our comprehension. If we do wrong, we have to pay.

But Christ is the loophole (there's always a legal loophole, isn't there). If we take on Christ and who He was, we are exercising that loophole. If we don't, we are going to have to pay the consequences from our own resources, hehehehe. Good Luck with that one, o little human.

Now all of this could be stuff & nonsense. I'm just not willing to take that chance. I don't want to die and wake up on the other side going, Ooooohhhh !#$#$!

WHY DOES GOD ALLOW SUFFERING?

I think there are Universal Laws we can't quite understand as human beings. The mystery of Good and Evil, balance, String Theory, Physics, all point to it and we know bits & pieces but really can't comprehend any of it.

The question is always asked, "why does God, if He is Good and Loving, allow so much evil to fly on Earth?" My answer as much as I can understand it, has to do with the fact that WE chose to run the Universe. When Adam & Eve ate the "apple" they were choosing Knowledge. With great knowledge comes great responsibility, right? We wanted to be like God - which entails the burden of running things.

Why did God allow us to eat the apple? Because He created us with the ability to make choices. He did not create zombies. We don't know how much Adam & Eve knew about the consequences of eating the apple. But we do know they were warned. They may even have seen some of the evil that occurs when you try to topple God - after all, Satan was out & about. They may even have been taught some things. We don't know. Fact is, we made (and each of still makes) the wrong choice.

So, the earth doesn't suck because God made us suck. This world sucks because He's letting US run it. This is what imperfect beings do with knowledge and free will. We screw it up to Hell and back.

So, if we will inevitably screw it up, and God KNOWS THIS, doesn't GOD suck, since He is so powerful and omniscient? Well, YES! Absolutely! EXCEPT for one thing: see next post.

WHY IS CHRIST THE KEY TO GOD?

This post is meaningless if you don't believe that God is all-powerful & good or that He exists at all. It's directed to people who are trying to understand the God of the Christian Bible (other "gods" are another topic altogether).

If not for Christ, God would not be worthy of our worship. That's right, friends. Because without Christ, He's a petty tyrant that set impossible rules upon imperfect beings He created and then condemned them to Hell for failing.

What a loser *(*)&**!! kind of God would that be??

But the reason He rocks, is because He created us out of overflowing, overwhelming love, and He created an incredibly gorgeous world filled with awesome creatures for us to love. He even gave us a perfect one-on-one (think no jealousy, no cheating or adultery possible) ultimate romantic partner to enjoy. BECAUSE HE IS ALL ABOUT LOVE. But because he loved us, He also gave us what He has (His "image"): Free Will. He didn't want Stepford children. So we took that and did the one thing He asked us not to do - that Tree of Knowledge thing - and then we shouldered the burden of morality and whatever else.

So we ended up banished from Paradise lest we try to usurp Him & *(&*! things up in Heaven like Satan tried to do. There's too much to cover and unknown mysteries on this subject so I'll cut to the chase - God knew we'd be royally screwed by the Laws that govern the Universe and those who eat of Knowledge - we'd never live up to it. So, essentially He killed Himself to somehow right that balance.

Christ. If He had not given us a freebie in Christ, He'd be just a dictator and there's no reason to love or respect an All-Powerful Dictator. Jesus is the Key because without His sacrifice we are victims of an Omniscient Oops! And that sort of, unravels the Universe, and all that God says He is. Without Christ, God is a liar and a failure. :)

My Own Psalm of Praise

Let us live in thanks and praise to the Lord,

for we have all we need and more.

All of us are rich in blessings, more than one.

Let us praise God, who gave to us our wealth,

yes even our very souls,

Who brought us from darkness

and showered our shadows with light.

This God is our prize, our true Christmas gift.

Let us not ask or desire for more

than the Universe that already is ours.

Let us be thankful instead

and join hearts in praise

to lift above Earth our Saviour King.

Wormwood

A STAR CALLED WORMWOOD

Why when you shine so brightly do you die inside?
A silver lining named for you is hidden by your doubt
and clouds of thunder roar because you weep

Your bitter heart sinks wrinkled in your grief,
the blood of life you spat into the darkened earth
Your choice was death eternal rage and pain

All your beauty glitters cold and hard
turned brittle by your frozen pride
Unbending you will break before you fall

So declared are you a dying star
Wormwood you are named forevermore
destined to extinguish light
cancel life as you collide
with those who with you turn aside

you will be mourned as one long lost
as one who chose to burn to ashes

and your embers' fading glow
will in deep of night then sleep at last.

God & Physics CERN Experiment

The most powerful atom-smasher ever built, that could produce a theoretical particle as yet undiscovered which may or may not create a black hole that could suck the earth into it, is about to be tested in Switzerland this August!

That tickles me pink! And not for the reasons the scientists are thrilled! I just love physics. Step by laborious step, generations after generations of scientists struggle to discover the mysteries of the universe. What they discover is amazing and fun and just delights me because it makes me realize how incredible God is and how many unknown things there are yet to be discovered after we finish living here.

They already know there are more than 3 dimensions - 10 additional that they suspect - but human beings are limited to perception in only the 3. Doesn't that show you there is something in this flesh that goes well beyond the bodies that decay when "death" occurs? And personally, I have seen some bits of another dimension first-hand (if ghosts and the like are considered to be part of the 4th dimension). In these other dimensions, we DO fly. The dreams - certain ones we have - are not fantasy but actual experiences of these other dimensions. That's why sometimes when I wake up I am exhausted, physically drained, because I've left my body behind. One time I physically FELT my spirit diving back into my body when the alarm went off - it was so weird, and I woke up completely wasted.

Oh as usual I've gotten off topic. Back to the atom-smasher. I am sure it will have an effect of some kind on the earth. How could the physicists have forgotten the 1st rule of physics - every action has an opposite and equal...? They're just plain lying if they reassure the public that no harm will be done. What the Bleep do they know???

I'm not worried. It would be kind of cool if the world ended August 2008 but somehow I doubt it. I know it'll end by meteor or nuclear explosion because that's what Revelation states and that's my belief system right there. Anyhoo, it should be fun to see this crazy atom smasher gear up - and we may not see or ever know about the long-term effects it has; who knows if other scientific experiments haven't been the cause of things like Katrina or massive earthquakes, anyway? No one can know for sure. We're just curious little monkeys poking at God's infinity. How adorable. In a dangerous kind of way.

I'm still trying to move my fan blades with my mind. No success yet. Guess I don't have that mustard seed...

Christianity & Homosexuality

One of my pet peeves is when "Christians" gleefully hone in on condemning homosexuality, going on and on about what a horrible sin it is and how you will go to Hell if you are gay and you'd better repent, repent, repent.

Meanwhile the very people declaring such things to large clapping audiences with whooping cries of approval, go home and have sex with their neighbors' wives, or watch hours of kiddie porn, or beat up their kids, or even just have sex outside of marriage, which is also loudly condemned in the bible.

Does the bible say homosexuality is a sin? Yes. Do we have the right to judge someone for his or her sexual actions? Sure, if we are perfect and without any sin ourselves. Do we have to approve of or join in on things that we feel are wrong? No.

Christians very often get caught up in trying to right others' wrongs, forgetting that if they first tried to clean themselves up to standards they would not even have time to go pointing fingers at the mistakes and struggles of others.

I know someone who prayed and prayed for God to change [their] heart to be heterosexual and [they] never were able to feel attraction to the opposite sex. It broke my heart to hear this, because this person is gentle, intelligent, loving and sincere. I don't know why this person is gay. And I don't feel it is my place to try to change [them].

God has lots of laws and commands, all of which we human beings consistently break on a daily basis. To pull one out and persecute someone and judge them to Hell for it, is to call attention to yourself as a hateful, merciless person who thinks he's better than someone else. And what does God hate above all? Pride. Lack of mercy. He desires mercy over sacrifice.

So to people who want to be true Christians, please, let's concentrate on where we ourselves fail, rather than pointing fingers from a collective platform of stiff-necked judgment.

Real Christians

Where are the modern Moses', James' and Johns'?

When you read the bible closely you see that the people in it were passionate, nutty, all-out and just like - well - you and me, for the most part. The exceptional ones found God and started talking to Him. Believed in Him. Asked Him the tough questions, suffered, walked, learned and - hopefully, ended up (or will end up) in Heaven.

James and John were fishermen. They must have been pretty swarthy guys, considering their line of work and the fact that people nicknamed them the "Sons of Thunder." When they hung around with Christ and realized they could perform miracles, some of their actions were downright funny. At one time they wanted to call fire from Heaven to burn up some people who pissed them off but Christ was like, take it easy dudes, that's not what I'm here for. If I could figure out how to harness that power (a la my previous theory on String Theory) no doubt I'd call down some fire all right...starting with people who fight dogs...maybe it's a good thing I don't know how to do it. Yet.

J&J also wanted to sit by Christ in Heaven. They wanted to be warlords. These were not meek, sniveling cowards. These guys were no b.s. and they knew why they followed Christ - the same reason I do - I want to get to Heaven. Because I think Heaven is going to be wild, mad fun. I know in my heart that eventually I am going to realize that the goal is love of God but I don't truly love Him yet. All the studying and Christian following I do is because I want OUT of this shitty world, and IN on the good stuff.

Moses was another larger than life type. He was an abandoned child who became a royal son, living the fabulous life surrounded by wealth and all the hot ho's a man could dream of. But he turned away from it because he had the noble heart of a true king, a supernatural hero for the ages. He had such passion that he murdered a man in the name of justice. Then he went out on the archetypal heroic isolation for 40 years in the desert and came out a changed man. He learned to erase himself and his own ego in favor of the greater good, and ended up leading a suffering underdog nation to freedom.

These are Christians; people who are not afraid to lose everything for what they believe in, yet understand that ultimately they serve the King of the Universe. Lose your life for Him and gain it all. It's a mystery and a journey every one of us can take.

Don't Look to People for Your Peace

Finally got around to seeing it. Really well-done. Kudos to Sean Penn there. I think he captured a lot of the essence of what Christopher McCandless was seeking. It was a movie about something that really matters in life.

I admire Christopher. I don't know that he was misguided or that his life was tragic. I think he found what really mattered, in the end, and maybe that was what his life was meant to be. He understood, and his journal became a testament to something real, beyond the zombie-like existence of our commercially driven modern lives.

The movie was timed well in light of a revelation I was given about a week ago. I think maybe, at the end, Christopher also probably realized this.

I had been frustrated because I had never been able to find anyone who seemed to understand or to answer my questions. I was continually disappointed by people's failure to live up to my standards, to meet my "wavelength," and so I always threw them away like so much kleenex when I inevitably discovered their imperfections. This one was a hypocrite; this one abandoned her own kids; that one was really stupid; that one was superficial and materialistic; on and on.

Then it was revealed to me one morning as clear as day: "Take from God; Give to People."

That was it. That was my answer. I did not need people. People could offer me absolutely nothing I wanted. Not one person on this earth would ever be good enough for me, including myself.

It was not fair to ask immortal questions of mere mortals. They would only break and fail and fall away, and I would end up a bitter black misanthrope, spouting venom from my dissatisfied corner.

What I needed, only God could provide. My questions, my tears, my rage, my emotional fury - only God could take it. So basically he said, give me all your crap, and open your heart to what I give you, which is the pure and inconceivable joy of my love for all eternity. Then take THAT, and forward it to people. Don't ever look to get anything from human beings. Look only to give. If you do anything else, you will be hateful and hated, vicious and brutal, unable to move forward or accomplish anything of true value.

Chris McCandless' parents weren't evil monsters, and Chris was not a spoiled rich white kid rebelling against society. They were all just flawed human beings trying to make sense of life. Christopher did not want to walk blindly, and he didn't. He took a brave and solitary path into the heart of human existence and I believe he emerged victorious.

Of all the choices we make in our lives, I think the most important one we have to make every single day we breathe, is to extend love. That is the best thing we can do. We don't have to go to Alaska or live in a bus. Some brave souls do this so those of us in the trenches of daily life can realize how different, how much brighter, an ordinary day can be just by being kind to a grocery store associate, or really smiling at someone you pass in the office hallway, or just being quiet and listening to someone you know when they speak, without impatiently waiting to tell your own story.

Take from God; give to people. Just give.